Round 3 begins!

At one point in my life I felt my calling was to knit outfits for tiny dogs, thereby making them warm AND fashionable. So this challenge was interesting to me, and yet repellent because I hate to think of animals as accessories. I find it hard to believe that no one thought of a dog immediately when Heidi said 'hottest fashion accessory.' Uli said she thought it would be a belt or a shoe- when is the last time anyone talked about a belt being hot? Maybe only in Germany.

Jeffrey was right about all the designers picking their own dog likeness, except Pattycake, Angela's dog. Pattycake was adorable, and Angela is not. Pattycake is not crazy, and Angela is. Does anyone else think Vincent was just a little too jazzed by the tiny dog hat? All I could think of was that crazy uncle everyone has who always tells jokes, but they're not funny, and he laughs so hard at them that he collapses into a chair, wheezing. Like the comment about Bradley- "If Bradley goes home on his birthday, he'll probably have a birthday party somewhere else!" hahahaha! To quote Sweet Topher Grace on That '70s Show, Vincent is confusing humor with just talking.

Now for the outfits. I loved Uli's dress, and I loved Einstein's sweater, and I loved the way she called him Einshtein. Uli said she was concerned about Angela's outfit- do you think it was because it like, bit? or because her backstory was way retarded? Angela said her outfit was "unlike anything anyone else has done." That's right, sister, because everyone else has at least a little taste. ooo, burn.

My fave this week was Knight Rider's brown dress. LOVED it. Want it in my closet. Want to wear it right now. And memo to Keith: a 2-inch strip of fabric is not a sash, it's a connector.

Nina Garcia- I want to cut this bitch. I could write a 5,000 word essay on how much I dislike her. I'll save that for the week I have nothing else to write about.

Lastly, but not leastly, I could listen to Tim Gunn say "Little Pepito!" like a thousand times in a row. They should make a Tim Gunn movie, or at least a TV show. It can be called Canine Days or Make a Poo or something similar, and it will feature Tim walking and talking to the dogs. I'd watch it. Who's with me?

I had to put my feelings for beauty pageants aside for this episode. 'Please, Project Runway, make me a dress so I can go on TV and objectify myself! I have nothing to offer society and the world but my physical beauty! I want to help the deaf and blind learn to cook!' All right, moving on..

What is up with Alison's hair? Why does she have that weird combover? Is it a wig? I think it's a wig. Who would do that to their hair on purpose? And didn't Bradley used to be in the Spin Doctors?

I felt sure that Miss Whatever was not going to choose Keith to be a team leader. He came off so creepy in the presentation of his design, talking about her 'gorgeous legs,' and I think I even saw a boob touch- even weirder than Daniel Franco in the lingerie challenge last season. But I was proven wrong, as is so often the case. I can't remember what Keith's dress even looked like- maybe it was that pink one I saw and liked but then couldn't see whose it was. In any case, he didn't win. Creepy doesn't pay, folks! Malan's dress wasn't fabulous but I do think it was better than Uli/ Bonnie's, certainly, and I loved the back. I hated Laura/ Michael's dress. It just wasn't appropriate for a pageant. I really liked Jeffrey's, and Vincent's. I disagree that Vincent's dress was for a space cadet, or maybe I should be a space cadet, because I thought it was cute. I loved the color, and the straps. Which is not to say I like Vincent- he and Angela are both nightmares. I can only imagine Angela was not kicked off for the sake of future drama, because thinking oneself too brilliant to be understood is bound to cause some conflicts farther down the PR path.

Poor Malan! I know last week I said he was creepy, but man alive, what a sad story he has. And to be kicked off in favor of Angela, who contributed nothing but negativity and created nothing but problems.. poor creepy Malan.

Till next week, y'all!

My first blog post ever! Whee! I'm as happy as a little girrrrl.

Let's get down to it. Season 3 started Wednesday, and I kicked off the night with a trip to Manhattan in a monsoonish torrential thunderstorm, complete with tornado. But nothing could keep me from my goal- Tim Gunn. He was making an appearance at Emmett's store in the willage with some Season 2 designers- Diana, Nick, Kara, Chloe- and I was certain that as soon as we met and bonded over some flavored coffee, we'd be lifelong friends, shopping the shoe sales at Barneys, dining at Pastis, and chuckling over the gross drawstring- dress thing happening now.

While that is perhaps not going to happen, my suspicions were confirmed- Tim Gunn is the nicest man EVER. Like, EVER. Without boring everyone (er, only myself?) here with all the details, I will say that it was a lovely experience and totally worth the harrowing weather moments in which I feared for my life.

So.. on to the show. I wanted to dislike all of the contestants initially, because they're just.. different. They're not Season 2, who I love to no end. But we can't move backwards, can we?

Laura at first struck me as kind of the older crazy lady who lives by herself and goes on vacation with her divorced friends, maybe a Fun 'n' Fabulous Fifties Cruise. But then I discovered she is only 42, which is not that much older than me, and so maybe she goes on the Forties Cruise. Moving on to evil Malan, he seemed a villain immediately. His laugh is creepy, he looks creepy, and in conclusion, I think he's creepy. I like Kayne, he seems all right. All those small round-faced girls I can't tell apart yet, so I have no comment on them. Tattoo Man is going to be painted as the Santino of Season 3, but I don't think that's accurate.

About the clothes themselves, nothing is really favorably memorable to me except the fabulous shiny rug coat from Laura (perhaps for her cruise?) and the coffee filter dress from Knight Rider, which my friend Kim went bananas over. "Good morning, Michael. Would you like to wear the coffee filter dress today?"

Hopefully by next week I'll be able to better identify the new contestants and their various personality quirks enhanced by editing to skew our emotional response. And hopefully by then I'll be able to forget Vincent's horrible basket/ chain hat. Vincent! I completely forgot him. During the show I was thinking he was brave for going ahead with his 'vision' right off the bat in the first challenge, but then I started to think he is kind of insane. But in a good way! haha! ha! Don't come to my house with those bicycle chains and kill me in my sleep, Vincent.