Last Friday in the NY Daily News there was a blind item that read thusly:

"Which reality contestant who just got kicked off the show was targeted
over a more deserving deportee because the program's hostess hated her
so much?"

Oh, hm. Let me think about that one. I've no idea!

Perhaps Heidi Klum didn't lke sharing the young blond spotlight with Alison (Uli doesn't count, because she's older than Heidi). Or perhaps she got the same rich-girl prep-school I-can-finance-my-clothing-line-with-my-trust-fund vibe off her that I did. Either way, sayonara to Alison. She was clearly peeved to be off the show, and to have Angela outlive her, to boot. Don't fret- hopefully Angela will join you this week.

I thought this challenge was going to be something to do with Newark Airport, because Tim said they needed closed-toe shoes, and were headed for Jersey. Laura gets mad props for commenting on Jersey's hideousness; I knew I liked this woman. So Kayne grew up dumpster-diving. This did not surprise me, and made me like him more until all the snipey remarks about Laura, while in the nosh room with Robert AND backstage at the runway AND in the workroom. Then Laura and Vincent fighting... Tim Gunn with the unkind words about the 'fat' model.. what is happening? Bradley gets sent home and the cattiness increases like fifteenfold- clearly he held the workroom's mystical happy force in his fuzzy blond hands.

Vincent gets crazier and crazier but at the same time, more sympathetic. He is kind of aggravating to watch but is probably fun to be friends with. So Robert recycles plastic and exboyfriends.. been there, sister.

On to the clothes. Nothing impressed me this week, except Kayne's. I have to say, I really dug it. I didn't care for Knight Rider's and don't know why the judges flipped out about it. Didn't Kathy Bates wear that dress in Fried Green Tomatoes? Her husband didn't like it then, and I don't like it now. Vincent said he made 'a gay old party dress,' but I don't know any gay folk who would wear that. Alison's dress was okay, and did look like a paper brioche, but why is that bad? If the model is indeed 'plus-sized,' she would probably enjoy looking like a brioche. Michael Kors said Jeffrey's was 'ugly-beautiful.' How about just ugly? Or how about horrifically, run-away-screaming ugly?

So Knight Rider wins again, Alison leaves, Angela goes back to Atlas and casts yet another blindness spell on the judges. And I sit on my floor contemplating life, pizza, and Bradley's importance in the metaphysical Project Runway universe, not necessarily in that order.

Beardley, Beardley, Beardley...

This weekend it was 70 degrees, breezy and not humid. Was I outside frolicking, hiking, swimming? No, I was inside, watching Project Runway and trimming ferret toenails, because I have my priorities straight.

I had to delay writing this until now because it was too painful. My only eye candy this season, voted off so quickly.. but with good reason, unfortunately. Who can expect a sensitive, non-TV-watching, tea-drinking sweetheart like Bradley to make an outfit for divalicious, outrageous, immodest Cher? It was evident that he was in over his head when his model Katie said Cher is more pop these days, and Bradley replied "like, Prince pop?"

It seemed like the designers for the most part got their ideal icon to work with. I knew Knight Rider's outfit was destined to be slammin', because of his extreme enthusiasm and clear knowledge of his icon. And slammin' it was- I'd wear it, if I wore hot pants, or sleeveless tops, or magenta. I actually was a little surprised that the judges didn't comment on the crotch issues on the hot pants, because from where I was sitting there appeared to be some. I didn't care for Vincent's Twiggy outfit. The sleeves were too long. Teeny cap sleeves would have been cuter.

This week's memo to Robert: Please stop. You're nice, and funny, and if I met you on the street I would be totally thrilled, but your designs are boring! You said "It wasn't as good as I would want." I agree. Go back to Bland City. And memo to Kayne's model Amanda- no one cares about you going to Serendipity, or your IPod Shuffle, or your hair color.

Michael's phone call to his mommy was touching. If I were on PR and called my mommy, I'd be gossiping like crazy. And it was nice of him to defend Angela in the sewing machine fight, even though the argument against her was pretty right on, as far as I could tell. He is Captain Save-A-Ho! I hope next week Angela's t-shirt reads 'G is for Going Home.' What's with Jeffrey saying he hopes Laura has a stroke? She has money, dude. She'll have you killed.

In conclusion, I will miss Bradley Baumkirchner. I could watch him drink orange juice for hours, talking about his Tresemmé hair gel, or the 'spiciness' in the work room, or how he feels like a plum tree. As sad as it is, I suppose it's better to have watched Bradley lose than never to have Bradleyed at all.

Finally, the fates permitted me to watch last week's episode. I was looking forward to this one for weeks, ever since Bravo first ran the commercials with Tim Gunn knocking on the door in Atlas. Who would go? Would it be Michael, since they give him such little air time anyway? Laura, because no one wants to see her ribcage anymore? Or Angela, just cuz?

Of course it was Keith, for being too smug. Or for having books, whichever. I lost track, because it was so anti-climactic after all that anticipation. The most interesting thing about it was that he had left the show for hours, and his reason for leaving was that Vincent was yelling at him for having the books. Hmm, you think he went to do some drugs? He said he didn't expect to be kicked off, and 'I had a lot of tricks up my sleeve still.' Such as... offering Heidi free baby clothes forever? Serving Tim Gunn breakfast in bed? 'Cause it ain't going to be your outfits that win, boyfriend.

Enough about Keithgate. I am liking Laura more and more. At first I didn't like her at all and I couldn't figure out why, but I'm discovering that I really dislike looking at her boniness. When that is covered up, we're like best friends. She was pregnant during the filming, and if this is how she looks pregnant, I'd be afraid to see how bony she is regularly.

Sweet, sweet Bradleybear. He is my favorite on the show currently. I'll pretend like I haven't seen last night's episode yet and say that I hope he never gets kicked off, because I heart him so.

A question for you, Robert- what is with the wifebeaters? You're a DESIGNER. Design something for yourself that doesn't look like you've been hanging out in the Monster on Open Bar Thursdays. You changed into a suit before the judging- is that because it looks better? Go with that.

In general I wasn't impressed with any of the clothes from this challenge except Bonnie's outfit. Perhaps I'm stuck in the 70s but I liked the jacket and the cowl neck sweater, and didn't mind the pants. Robert's outfit was horrible. Was that a drawstring raincoat? That's wrong. And maybe I missed the allure of Alison/ Jeffrey's hangy armhole shirt, but to me it looked like the model woke up late and had to run out the door half-dressed. Angela... how I dislike you and your clothes. Those are all the words I have for you.

Until next week, by which I mean later this week, keep on keepin' on, everyone.

Hi everyone (all both of you)!

My comments on episode 4 are delayed, as you well know. I was late getting home Wednesday night, and missed the first 15 minutes. In my haste to get to my TV, I tripped up the stairs, thereby continuing my recent trend of weekly new and different accidental self-injuries.

In any case, my observations are incomplete. I blame Bravo, because instead of rerunning PR over the weekend like I expected, they showed about a gabillion (thanks Kim!) hours of America's Least Talented People. Je ne comprends pas.

So when I get to watch the whole episode over again, I'll post. In the meantime I'll leave you with this: