Daniel Franco, where did you go?

He went to Fashion Week, and Kim and I were there to watch. After going to the wrong building entrance and being told the show had been at 2 pm, not 3 (quelle horreur!), we finally found the correct door and took our (really good) seats. We watched Tim Gunn come in, to much fanfare and photography and autographs. We watched Malan and Angela and Chloe and Diana and Emmett and Marla (with a terrible haircut) trail in and take their front-row seats opposite us. And we saw a guy who looked like Bradley but we didn't believe was Bradley. Must wait to see what he looks like on the reunion show, being filmed this week.

The clothes were great and I was impressed. The show was sponsored by Nikon and so several models (including this season's Nazri) walked down the runway taking photos of the crowd. No gifty bags but we did get some kind of free ringtone card, and some mints and a pen from Mercury.

It was over so fast, and then we ate Indian food. And thus ends my lone Fashion Week experience. Thanks for the (indirectly acquired) tickets, Daniel Franco!

I am so jealous that I did not a) go to Paris, and b) go to Paris and eat dinner with Tim Gunn. How is life so unfair?

The task at hand is to make a couture gown, which apparently you need a permission slip signed by the UN and president of France to do, AND to do it in 2 days. Jeffrey's goal was to make something 'happy, joyous and free' and if by that he means 'ugly, yellow and repulsive' then I guess he accomplished it. I was worried for Laura, her dress looked fancy but not couture. I thought perhaps she was sabotaging herself on purpose since her pregnancy was beginning to affect her. And who shows like that at 3 months? Maybe she's having triplets. And congratulations to Wincent- he's beginning to show too! His wifebeater gave it away.

On to the boat ride. The clear winner here is Catherine Malandrino. Her dress was STUNNING. I loved it. Loved it! Still love it. I have to say, I rather liked Kayne's gold extravaganza, particularly the lacing up the back. Jeffrey's was abhorrent to the trillionth degree. I might perhaps have liked it a little more if it hadn't been yellow. And it was cut so high- I think I saw underpants. Knight Rider was right to be "sweatin' like a whore in church" cause that dress was not only not finished, it was not flattering. Uli's was fancy and appropriate, and I disagree with her that it looked better in Paris. I think it looked better on the American model because she's more stacked.

Wincent is going home! For once I agree with Nina Bitchcia- the back of his dress should have been the front. He's clearly crazy but I learned to like things about him, such as his concern for people's feelings, love of sweet Bradley, and balls-out craziness. Good luck, Wincent! This time you really did get yourself off.

This week the challenge was to create an outfit for an international jetsetter. I missed the beginning of this episode the first time around because I was at the movies seeing Half Nelson, which was great. Ryan Gosling needs to have a beard always. Anyway, long story short, they make outfits and then Heidi surprises them with a trip to Paris. ooh la la! And Tim Gunn goes along for the ride. Like Jeffrey I too wish Tim Gunn would pop up in my life every once in a while, just to check in, see what's happening.

Once in Paris, Angela is eliminated pretty much right after she comments on the existence of windows in the workroom. What a shame she'll never be able to work in that breezy, sunlit, croissant-scented room. C'est la vie! I cheered for a good 5 minutes after she said goodbye, in my apartment and downstairs to put out the recycling, and back up the stairs. My neighbors must have thought I was insane unless they were watching PR too, and understood what I meant by 'ANGELA'S OUT!'

Catherine Malandrino- quelle bitch! She gets right to the point, don't she? I heard they had to do many takes because she was too mean to the designers the first few times.

Till next week... thinking about croissants...

Can't we all just get along?

Finally, weeks after it was on, I am commenting on the Mom episode. I've been busy and unmotivated.

First, I TOTALLY called this challenge. I wrote in an email to my friend Philip that day that I thought the designers would be designing for their moms. How cute were those moms?! Kayne's mom said she was going to walk the runway like the models, and embarrass Kayne. Sassy! Angela's mom Darlene looks really young. Jeff's mom reveals he was a drug addict and alcoholic. Fine, but does that mean he can be nasty to people? Ah, I'm getting ahead of myself.

The trip to Tavern on the Green with Joan Kors proved fun and educational. We learned that Knight Rider was an adorable child, Laura is pregnant, and Jeffrey was not entirely unattractive in his teen years. I guess it took time to really let the nasty personality shine through. And if I had a dollar for every time someone drinks champagne on Project Runway, I'd be able to buy . . . well, something expensive.

Wincent was impressed with Uli's mom Heidi's 'European flair.' I'm pretty sure that's because she's from Europe, fool.

How cool is Laura, saying she'll throw the new baby on the pile with the rest? I love this woman.

On to the workroom. Jeffrey seriously needs to chill. I don't think Momgela was trying to set him up at all, I think he never bothered to ask her if she liked what he was making because he didn't care. He even said he didn't care if she liked it. In the words of Erasure, a little respect, people! He shouldn't have been rude to someone's mom, someone's mom who is in the room with him, and someone's mom who is in the room with him while his OWN mom is also in the room. So, so wrong. And why didn't Momrey smack him down, instead of telling Momgela to make the best of it, or whatever lame-ass thing she said? It's not right, no matter how much anyone dislikes Angela. Even Santino wouldn't have spoken to a mom like that, and his mom would have beat him if he had.

Jeffrey said Momgela looked cute, which is wrong. She looked horrible and he knew it. I liked Uli's outfit, it really fancied up Momyne, and she should have won. Knight Rider and Wincent had the advantage of working with the slim ladies, and I liked both of theirs but didn't love either one. Robert- back to Blah City! Laura's was kind of blah to me too, surprisingly. Bravo to Momli for coming here, without speaking any English, to parade around in a possibly awful dress on international television. What a gal.

I predicted Uli would win, and was wrong, but I correctly predicted Robert would be out. And what a sweet goodbye from his girlfriend Kayne! Who will he trash talk Laura with from now on?